Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out?

“Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out?”

I found this quote and picture on “People Who Inspire Us” on Facebook. Yep, I was that orange in Japan. No one asked me, “Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out?” I had no choice but to “try to” fit in. That was all I knew: being the same as everybody else. As many of you know, Japan is a homogeneous society and it’s hard if you are different, especially being a different Japanese. Big cities like Tokyo are a bit different, but I am from a small and very traditional town in Nagasaki Prefecture.


Because I was different, I was taught I was wrong. Because I was different, I was bullied in my high school. So I tried very hard NOT to stand out in college: doing the same (boring) things as the others did. Then everything was fine and no one bothered me. I wasn’t happy when I was not myself, trying to do what society expected me to do, though. So I decided to leave Japan. After I moved to Canada, I discovered what I am and I have felt like I am living my life. You can clearly tell the difference in my pictures before and after I left japan.

Now I am living in the U.S. An interesting thing about the U.S .is that there are many subgroups or societies in the country, which require different expectations. Do you remember the movie, “Pretty Woman,” starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere? When Roberts’ character—who is a hooker—goes to a luxurious store, none of the sales staff want to deal with her. But when she goes back to the same store, after she has polished up, they are all over her!

Another interesting thing is that each state has different laws and regulations. You can find a society or a place that you belong to or you feel comfortable with. I have been living in the U.S. for almost eight years. We have lived in Virginia, Guam, Nebraska and Connecticut. Finally, I feel like I have found a society which I belong to. I don’t have to pretend to be someone else that I am not. It’s just so natural to be with those people in this society.

Many people don’t want to stand out or to be different because they don’t want to be alone. I learned in one class from my MBA program, Consumer Behavior, that many people want to conform to a majority if they are asked their opinions in the presence of the others. It’s not talking about Japan but about people in general. Even in the U.S., I struggled a bit for being different, because I saw some people around me wanting to be a part of a certain group and I thought that was what I had to do. But, a year or so ago, I just accepted that I was different and I found it better to spend time on what I want to do for my life rather than trying to fit in a group or a community I didn’t belong to. After this decision, my life has dramatically changed and blossomed. So many good things have been happening in my life and my family life. I think it’s because I have been focusing on “my life.”